5 Reasons Why I Don't Like Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Thanksgiving is one of my least favorites of the major holidays. Why is that, exactly?

1. The Meal
I know, you might be thinking I'm crazy, as it's so popular. However, I'm not a fan of it. I'd rather have chicken than turkey, I'd rather have a baked potato than mashed potatoes, I don't like sweet potatoes/yams, nor do I like cranberry sauce. Most people are such avid fans of it that they look forward even to the leftovers. I, on the other hand, would much rather order a pizza. I like to see other people enjoying the meal - and if you like the food, you LOVE Thanksgiving - but when the holiday pretty much revolves around this as the focal point, if you're not a fan of it, the holiday just tanks.

2. Pilgrims & Indians
I could not care less about this portion of history. Sure, it's important. I'm not arguing against that. I just find it incredibly uninteresting and I always have, even as a kid. Both pilgrims and Indians look like fools. Plus, it isn't as if the story ever changes. It's just the same thing: bunch of people got together, ate some shit out of a horn, then systematically turned on each other and basically made the Native Americans an endangered race and the pilgrims eventually went on to do nonsense like the Salem Witch Trials. Nice job, idiots. Maybe you'd be able to think more clearly if you didn't have goddamn belt buckles on your heads.

3. Transitional Holiday
Thanksgiving is basically overshadowed. People are just getting off from Halloween and so much of the decoration has the same kind of feel to it, plus the weather hasn't quite changed yet, so it's almost as if it's just an extension. Thanksgiving becomes the "other half" of Halloween that you don't see. Since Halloween has no built-in dinner with family and Thanksgiving has no fun activities, they're about 50/50 (except Halloween has the ceremonial eating of candy). But even more so, Thanksgiving is overshadowed by Christmas. Very soon after Halloween, stores are removing their costumes and decorations and replacing them with Christmas gear. They're also playing Christmas music on the radio. Within hours after Thanksgiving has ended, people are doing Christmas shopping with Black Friday. Basically, Thanksgiving doesn't have enough to stand on its own. It's just a stepping stone between two better holidays.

4. The Message
I previously wrote in an older entry about how hypocritical the holiday message is. Give thanks for what you have, then after you say grace, stuff your face like a glutton.

5. The Hand-Turkey Drawings

Pitiful. Now go eat your mascot.



This site is dead and has been for a long while, for multiple reasons—not the least of which is that it's of a different era (roughly 2007). You can no longer safely play around with discussing gray areas with a humorous twist. People don't read between the lines. If they want to be offended, they'll twist what you said to mean whatever they want, and you're guilty no matter what. Or, on the flip-side, instead of being too sensitive, they'll think you're somehow defending their awfully bigoted or shameful viewpoints, even if you aren't. Both extreme sides of everything are so black/white dumb that it's an impossible minefield to navigate. If anything on here doesn't age well, sorry; times have changed, and so do people, for better or worse. Get over it. (It being "everything") There is always more important shit out there going on. Out on limbs.



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